just made this using a website u may/may not already know.
you gotta read it all =p
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Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Phil McKrackin is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Ben Dover. So everyone please put your hands together for Phil McKrackin!
Jerry: Okay, now Phil McKrackin you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Fanny.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Fanny, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Phil McKrackin, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Paul Mc****!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a tampon. Paul Mc**** reaches for the sanitary towel. Out of the shadows Eileen Dover appears.
Eileen Dover: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Paul Mc****.
Paul Mc****: Because I saw Phil McKrackin and Eileen Dover making out at school toilets!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Eileen Dover: That's a lie! I was home watching Gay TV!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Paul Mc****?
Paul Mc****: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Ben Dover who has recently become engaged to Eileen Dover.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Ben Dover out here because Phil McKrackin had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Fanny that's right!
Ben Dover: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Fanny! You know I'm how I feel about Fanny!.
Eileen Dover: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Fanny!
Ben Dover: Because I knew that I could never have Fanny. But Phil McKrackin promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Eileen Dover: What about respect for MY feelings!
Paul Mc**** walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Ben Dover.
Paul Mc****: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Eileen Dover: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Eileen Dover runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Eileen Dover: Phil McKrackin take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Eileen Dover: Married?
You nod.
Eileen Dover: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Fanny.
Ben Dover: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Fanny: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 3246 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Phil McKrackin is married to Fanny who Ben Dover has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Ben Dover has recently become engaged to Eileen Dover who was recently spotted kissing Phil McKrackin in the school toilets. Now on top of this Paul Mc**** has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Ben Dover.
Fanny: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
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/Tai
edit: ffs, btw Paul Mc**** is Paul McC0ck.
you gotta read it all =p
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Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Phil McKrackin is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Ben Dover. So everyone please put your hands together for Phil McKrackin!
Jerry: Okay, now Phil McKrackin you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Fanny.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Fanny, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Phil McKrackin, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Paul Mc****!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a tampon. Paul Mc**** reaches for the sanitary towel. Out of the shadows Eileen Dover appears.
Eileen Dover: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Paul Mc****.
Paul Mc****: Because I saw Phil McKrackin and Eileen Dover making out at school toilets!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Eileen Dover: That's a lie! I was home watching Gay TV!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Paul Mc****?
Paul Mc****: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Ben Dover who has recently become engaged to Eileen Dover.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Ben Dover out here because Phil McKrackin had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Fanny that's right!
Ben Dover: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Fanny! You know I'm how I feel about Fanny!.
Eileen Dover: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Fanny!
Ben Dover: Because I knew that I could never have Fanny. But Phil McKrackin promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Eileen Dover: What about respect for MY feelings!
Paul Mc**** walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Ben Dover.
Paul Mc****: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Eileen Dover: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Eileen Dover runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Eileen Dover: Phil McKrackin take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Eileen Dover: Married?
You nod.
Eileen Dover: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Fanny.
Ben Dover: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Fanny: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 3246 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Phil McKrackin is married to Fanny who Ben Dover has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Ben Dover has recently become engaged to Eileen Dover who was recently spotted kissing Phil McKrackin in the school toilets. Now on top of this Paul Mc**** has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Ben Dover.
Fanny: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
---------------------------------------------------------
/Tai
edit: ffs, btw Paul Mc**** is Paul McC0ck.
