my story so far READ!

Desolation Mir2 (Med Rate Server)

Dark12345

Golden Oldie
Golden Oldie
Apr 4, 2004
1,074
1
125
Portsmouth
its not very good ill edit it soon
and its just the start

i think ill make the chapters a bit longer



Chapter 1

twap ,bang and the sounds of crying men was the only sounds you would hear when your
a young wrecked slave living in the jails of Akabarun.
everyday u could feel the breeze of poor useless
slaves being whiped over,over and over again but there was always one.
Just one , that would never admitt the defeat of being caught
and this paticular one wasnt just one
he was THE one , so listen up to this story.As you may never expect such a story of horid , bravery , dramtic happenings
and death.

“GUARDS !!! GUARDS!!! “ the young prince Drake shouted
“seize him, and when you do bring him to me dead !” .
The Akabarun guards where the toughist guards in the land
standing at least 6ft 2 with gold plated armor with a black
dragon standing on his two back feet breathing fire.
But this dragon was like no other.
You could feel its breath as the guards ran at you.
You could smell the stinch as they ran at you.
You coul feel the fear in your spine as it ran at you.
So as you can hear this dragon was like no other!.

The guards stomped past in the dark misty wood with there great fierce Glaives
turning anything glum, dull.
“We must find him or the prince will kill us” said the tall
bold man.
“We are all trying so just keep your eyes peeled!” replied the
ugly wrinkled man.
Crack...
“What was that!”
“i dont know”
“lets check it out”
clank
“ARGGHHH”
“MY ARM!!!”

a young small wrecked body stood cautionly
“My Glaive” replied the guard.

“move or speak and ill have your head” whispered the wrecked man in a low voice.

The man suddenly swished his fist into the guards face breaking
his nose , and knocking him out.

The odd man swifted past the other guards like a ninja
making nothing see him
jumping from tree to tree
ducking under bushs
throwing rocks to distract guards and make his way
out of the jail and into
the market city
Forcation.

Chapter 2

The city was far enough to possible be 20 miles maybe 30 .
the odd man ran far from the jail keeping his eyes peeled for maybe night stalkers
or jagars to mug or even kill him
the man got at least 10miles off course and decided to sleep by a long live river.
He kept the Glaive he stole, very close and slept so lightly he could see.

But as he was to drift off in a sudden dead sleep he heard a twig or branch snap, as if this wasnt mother nature but
someone or something.
he stood his body up in the dark misty woods and saw a strange dark figure he pointed is head forwards like a cat would for its prey
and the figure dissapered.
 

Far

tinmymouthpl0x
Staff member
Administrator
May 19, 2003
20,709
35
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520
twap? is that even a word?
 

Far

tinmymouthpl0x
Staff member
Administrator
May 19, 2003
20,709
35
3,357
520
least he didnt use 'lol' or 'amfg'
 

pompeii

Dedicated Member
Dedicated Member
Nov 3, 2004
92
0
33
Dark12345 said:
its not very good
I stopped reading after twap.
Dark12345 said:
dont ask me its a sound lol
just use ur imagination
I tryed, and the image i got from that word usually costs me a monthly fee to see.

I cant fault your effort though.
 
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Floyd

Golden Oldie
Golden Oldie
Aug 2, 2004
1,320
0
123
pompeii said:
I stopped reading after twap.

I tryed, and the image i got from that word usually costs me a monthly fee to see.

lol
 

Opeth

Dedicated Member
Dedicated Member
Aug 15, 2005
64
0
32
UK
Thrash, bang and the sounds of crying men were the only sounds you would hear when your're
a young wrecked slave living in the foul jails of Akabarun.
everyday you could feel the breeze of poor useless
slaves being whipped over and over again but there was always one.
Just one, that would never admitt the defeat of being caught
and this paticular one wasnt just one
Te was THE one , so listen up to this story. As you may never expect such a story so horrid, so cruel and BRIMMING with morbid happenings.

“GUARDS !!! GUARDS!!! “ the young prince Drake shouted
“seize him! Kill him! And once thou hast completed your task, bringeth me his head on a pike!!” .
The Akabarun guards where the toughest guards in all the land of Therusa
standing at least 6ft 2 with gold-branded plat armor, marked with the insignia of Akabarun, portraining a rearing black dragon, with blazing fire shooting from its gaping maw.
But this dragon was like no other.
You could feel its breath as the guards charged at you.
You could smell the stench as they ran at you.
You coul feel the fear in your spine as their eyes pierced you.
So as you can hear this dragon was like no other!.

The guards stomped past in the dark misty wood of Aruksmite, with three great fierce glaives, gleaming in the moonlight.
“We must find him or the prince will have OUR heads on pikes!” said the tall
bold man.
“We are all trying so just keep your eyes peeled!” replied the
ugly wrinkled man.
Crack...
“What was that!”
“i dont know”
“lets check it out”
clank
“ARGGHHH”
“MY ARM!!!”

a young small wrecked body stood cautionly
“My Glaive” replied the guard.

“move or speak and ill have your head” whispered the wrecked man in a low voice.

The man suddenly swished his fist into the guards face breaking
his nose , and knocking him out.

The odd man snaked past the other guards like a ninja. only but a glimpse of the black shadow could be caught jumping from tree to tree, ducking under bushes throwing rocks to distract guards and make his way out of the jail and into the market city of Forcation.

Chapter 2

The city twas a long trek away, maybe 70 leagues, or even more.
the odd man ran far from the jail keeping his eyes peeled, for night stalkers
did roam the midnight forrest, praying on anyone that they may see.
the man got at least 10 leagues off course and decided to sleep by a long live river.
He kept the Glaive he stole, very close and slept so lightly he could see.

But as he was to drift off in a sudden dead sleep he heard a twig or branch snap, as if this wasnt mother nature but
someone or something.
he stood his body up in the dark misty woods and saw a strange dark figure. he pointed is head forwards like a cat would for its prey
and the figure dissapered.

I made it better check it out guys.
 

Far

tinmymouthpl0x
Staff member
Administrator
May 19, 2003
20,709
35
3,357
520
Opeth said:
Thrash, bang and the sounds of crying men were the only sounds you would hear when your're
a young wrecked slave living in the foul jails of Akabarun.
everyday you could feel the breeze of poor useless
slaves being whipped over and over again but there was always one.
Just one, that would never admitt the defeat of being caught
AMFG!
“GUARDS !!! GUARDS!!! “ the young prince Drake shouted
“seize him! Kill him! And once thou hast completed your task, bringeth me his head on a pike!!” .
The Akabarun guards where the toughest guards in all the land of Therusa
standing at least 6ft 2 with gold-branded plat armor, marked with the insignia of Akabarun, portraining a rearing black dragon, with blazing fire shooting from its gaping maw.
AMFG!
You could feel its breath as the guards charged at you.
You could smell the stench as they ran at you.
You coul feel the fear in your spine as their eyes pierced you.
So as you can hear this dragon was like no other!.

The guards stomped past in the dark misty wood of Aruksmite, with three great fierce glaives, gleaming in the moonlight.
“We must find him or the prince will have OUR heads on pikes!” said the tall
bold man.
“We are all trying so just keep your eyes peeled!” replied AMFG!
LOLOLOL11!!11!
“ARGGHHH”
“MY ARM!!!”

a young small wrecked body stood cautionly
“My Glaive” replied the guard.

“move or speak and ill have your head” whispered the wrecked man in a low voice.

The man suddenly swished his fist into the guards face breaking
his nose , and knocking him out.

The odd man snaked past the other guards like a ninja. only but a glimpse of the black shadow could be caught jumping from tree to tree, ducking under bushes throwing rocks to distract guards and make his way out of the jail and into the market city of Forcation.

Chapter 2

The city twas a long trek away, maybe 70 leagues, or even more.
the odd man ran far from the jail keeping his eyes peeled, for night stalkers
did roam the midnight forrest, praying on anyone that they may see.
the man got at least 10 leagues off course and decided to sleep by a long live river.
He kept the Glaive he stole, very close and slept so lightly he could see.

AMFG!.

i improved it even more.
 

Shard

LOMCN Veteran
Veteran
Loyal Member
Jul 12, 2003
1,267
1
174
Do it in Microsoft Word, for the love of God. It has grammar and spellcheck. Also what it this for, school?
 

pompeii

Dedicated Member
Dedicated Member
Nov 3, 2004
92
0
33
Floyd said:
needs more pr0n
Dark12345 said:
Chapter 1

fap ,bang and the sounds of screaming women was the only sounds you would hear when your
a young sex slave in the dungeons of Akabarun.
everyday u could feel the pain and pleasure of poor helpless young peasent girls being whiped over,over and oh-oh-oh-ooohhhhhhver again but there was always one.
Just one , that would never allow herself to be taken advantage of.
She was THE one.
giggity giggity
 

Dark12345

Golden Oldie
Golden Oldie
Apr 4, 2004
1,074
1
125
Portsmouth
look dudes *** off... i wish i didnt post this
i was just posted to see what u thought and if u can help
and id like to say thx opath for making better i see u descirbed it better
this project is not for school i was bored and thought i might start writing something
so stop trying to change it 2 some kind of sex forest and into a mytho dark forest with monsters flying through

thx agen opath
 

Far

tinmymouthpl0x
Staff member
Administrator
May 19, 2003
20,709
35
3,357
520
yeah thanks opeth, your a star, i owe you big time.
 

Floyd

Golden Oldie
Golden Oldie
Aug 2, 2004
1,320
0
123
Dark12345 said:
look dudes *** off... i wish i didnt post this
i was just posted to see what u thought and if u can help
and id like to say thx opath for making better i see u descirbed it better
this project is not for school i was bored and thought i might start writing something
so stop trying to change it 2 some kind of sex forest and into a mytho dark forest with monsters flying through

thx agen opath


wot about flying naked women in mytho forests
 

Pebble

Golden Oldie
Golden Oldie
Jul 25, 2005
570
2
104
Essex, England
fap ,bang and the sounds of screaming women was the only sounds you would hear when your
a young sex slave in the dungeons of Akabarun.
everyday u could feel the pain and pleasure of poor helpless young peasent girls being whiped over,over and oh-oh-oh-ooohhhhhhver again but there was always one.
Just one , that would never allow herself to be taken advantage of.
She was THE one.
AMFG!
“GUARDS !!! GUARDS!!! “ the young prince Drake shouted
rub him! Fck him! And once thou hast completed your task, bringeth me his balls on a pike!!” .
The Akabarun guards where the toughest guards in all the land of Therusa
standing at least 6ft 2 with gold-branded plat armor, marked with the insignia of Akabarun, portraining a rearing black dragon, with blazing fire shooting from its gaping maw.
AMFG!
You could feel its breath as the guards charged at you.
You could smell the stench as they ran at you.
You coul feel the fear in your spine as their eyes pierced you.
So as you can hear this dragon was like no other!.

The guards stomped past in the dark misty wood of Aruksmite, with three great fierce glaives, gleaming in the moonlight.
“We must fck him or the prince will have OUR heads on pikes!” said the tall
bold man.
“We are all trying so just keep your eyes peeled!” replied AMFG!
LOLOLOL11!!11!
“ARGGHHH”
“MY BALLS!!!”
“PRAWNED NUBLET”

a young small wrecked body stood cautionly
“My Glaive” replied the guard.

“move or speak and ill have your head” whispered the wrecked man in a low voice.

The man suddenly swished his fist into the guards face breaking
his nose , and knocking him out.

The odd man snaked past the other guards like a ninja. only but a glimpse of the black shadow could be caught jumping from tree to tree, ducking under bushes throwing rocks to distract guards and make his way out of the jail and into the market city of Forcation.

Chapter 2

The city twas a long trek away, maybe 70 leagues, or even more.
the odd man ran far from the jail keeping his eyes peeled, for night stalkers
did roam the midnight forrest, praying on anyone that they may see.
the man got at least 10 leagues off course and decided to sleep by a long live river.
He kept the Glaive he stole, very close and slept so lightly he could see.

AMFG!.





Not bad. (What we got so far :P)
 
Last edited: