- Jul 4, 2003
- 1,032
- 10
- 175
A man was sitting in his car reading a newspaper when all of a sudden a grey squirrel ran into the road. I knew it was a grey squirrel because it was a squirrel and it wasnt red, and it didnt smell like peroxide so it hadn't bleached its fur.
The squirrel proceeded to enter the car and demand that the radio station be changed to BBC radio 1. The problem was the cars sterio was broken and the squirrel got really pissed off and was all like "**** you man, im going to give you rabies" and the man was like "lol you lose squirrel fag, rabies doesnt exist in the UK" and the squirrel was like "Im squirrel hitler im from germany, take this" and the squirrel but him and instantly foam came out of the guys mouth.
Then jesus came out of the radio and was all like "fick you im the spawn of satan" and everyone was like "what the ****" even the squirrel was OK? Then the Satan jesus was all like "where the **** is radio1" and the squirrel was like "this idiots sterio is broken OK?" and jesus was all like **** were going to have to phone for help LOL.
So jesus took out his mobile laserium phone was was all like "Dial A for Atomicide" and then my phone started ringning and i was all like "**** i must answer the phone OK" and i got to the phone and the woman was all like "this is pam from perma-glass windows" and i was all like "**** off ***** ive got jesus on the line" and she was all like *explode* cos my ultrasonic phone laser killed her face.
So i got jesus on the other line and he was all like "im in the car with some dud ho doesnt have radio 1" and i was all like " i can see from my house guy" and he was all like *wave* at my window.
So i got dressed into my clothes and made my way downstairs and got outside, and by this time some bint was by the car and she was all like "wtf are you 3 doing at my car" and jesus said "arent you that widow from number 32" and she was all like "no my husband is in thet car" and jesus was all like "we gassed the guy in the car you stupid ****" and she was all like "OMG you killed my husband" so i killed her face.
Anyway, after that the squirrel fixed the radio, and we stole the car and drove to Morrisons where jesus was all like "man i need some chocolate" so he drove right into the store and stole soime profiteroles, and Dairly milk (free Ecoli inside) and then some assitant was all like "you shouldn't be here" so jesus stamped on his balls, and said "now you wont be able to have fag children you fag" and we drove off.
he squirrel itself was a pretty awesome driver. He killed like 19 people in 5 minutes,and i was all like "****ing watch this you stupid furball" and parked the car on some fags head and did a wheelspin and sprayed his brains up the side of a church and jesus was all like "lol defiled OK" and the squirrel was all like "dude i need peanuts" so we smashed into a pub and stole some peanuts and the que ball from the pool table, and spat on eveyones drinks and left.
Then we broke into some shops and repriced all the merchandise to **** them off, then when they tried to correct the merchandise errors the next day we burned the shops and buried the bodies upside down in a makeshift grave. under some public toilets.
Then we broke into the local chemist cos jesus needed some asthma medication and i was all like "wtf" and he was like omg they crucified my lungs ok. After that we thought "burying bodies in a grave is a waste" so we dug them up and put them in the car and drove to the airport where snuck into the luggage conveyers and put bodies in everyone suitase, and loads of ****s got arrested. Some tit from easyjet was like "wteff ar u doin OK" and i spat in his face after eating batteries and it scared him for life. I also ate one of his childeren.
Soon we were done at the airport and me and the two frogs went for a drive in the country, where we shot birds, and people. We also torched some woodland and killed some owls.
The moral of the story is.
Hated1 = Katlin.
The squirrel proceeded to enter the car and demand that the radio station be changed to BBC radio 1. The problem was the cars sterio was broken and the squirrel got really pissed off and was all like "**** you man, im going to give you rabies" and the man was like "lol you lose squirrel fag, rabies doesnt exist in the UK" and the squirrel was like "Im squirrel hitler im from germany, take this" and the squirrel but him and instantly foam came out of the guys mouth.
Then jesus came out of the radio and was all like "fick you im the spawn of satan" and everyone was like "what the ****" even the squirrel was OK? Then the Satan jesus was all like "where the **** is radio1" and the squirrel was like "this idiots sterio is broken OK?" and jesus was all like **** were going to have to phone for help LOL.
So jesus took out his mobile laserium phone was was all like "Dial A for Atomicide" and then my phone started ringning and i was all like "**** i must answer the phone OK" and i got to the phone and the woman was all like "this is pam from perma-glass windows" and i was all like "**** off ***** ive got jesus on the line" and she was all like *explode* cos my ultrasonic phone laser killed her face.
So i got jesus on the other line and he was all like "im in the car with some dud ho doesnt have radio 1" and i was all like " i can see from my house guy" and he was all like *wave* at my window.
So i got dressed into my clothes and made my way downstairs and got outside, and by this time some bint was by the car and she was all like "wtf are you 3 doing at my car" and jesus said "arent you that widow from number 32" and she was all like "no my husband is in thet car" and jesus was all like "we gassed the guy in the car you stupid ****" and she was all like "OMG you killed my husband" so i killed her face.
Anyway, after that the squirrel fixed the radio, and we stole the car and drove to Morrisons where jesus was all like "man i need some chocolate" so he drove right into the store and stole soime profiteroles, and Dairly milk (free Ecoli inside) and then some assitant was all like "you shouldn't be here" so jesus stamped on his balls, and said "now you wont be able to have fag children you fag" and we drove off.
he squirrel itself was a pretty awesome driver. He killed like 19 people in 5 minutes,and i was all like "****ing watch this you stupid furball" and parked the car on some fags head and did a wheelspin and sprayed his brains up the side of a church and jesus was all like "lol defiled OK" and the squirrel was all like "dude i need peanuts" so we smashed into a pub and stole some peanuts and the que ball from the pool table, and spat on eveyones drinks and left.
Then we broke into some shops and repriced all the merchandise to **** them off, then when they tried to correct the merchandise errors the next day we burned the shops and buried the bodies upside down in a makeshift grave. under some public toilets.
Then we broke into the local chemist cos jesus needed some asthma medication and i was all like "wtf" and he was like omg they crucified my lungs ok. After that we thought "burying bodies in a grave is a waste" so we dug them up and put them in the car and drove to the airport where snuck into the luggage conveyers and put bodies in everyone suitase, and loads of ****s got arrested. Some tit from easyjet was like "wteff ar u doin OK" and i spat in his face after eating batteries and it scared him for life. I also ate one of his childeren.
Soon we were done at the airport and me and the two frogs went for a drive in the country, where we shot birds, and people. We also torched some woodland and killed some owls.
The moral of the story is.
Hated1 = Katlin.
